Top 10 Best Practices of Successful (& Philanthropic) Families

Top 10 Best Practices of Successful (& Philanthropic) Families

In a recent blog post I wrote about the desirability of developing a family vision and mission statement. Such a statement helps families to come to grips with who they are and where they want to be. They help instill the most important beliefs and values in each generation of the family in a way that is at once collaborative and not coercive, supporting and not demanding.
Regardless of whether your family actually develops a written statement, we know that thinking about and instilling these beliefs and values in family members is absolutely crucial to character development, educational and career success and, yes, especially the development of a philanthropic mindset.
A student of mine recently shared the following story with me: “My family has been fortunate enough to be able to fund a small family foundation, and my sister and I are allocated an amount of money to donate annually to ours (and our spouse’s) favored causes. It’s not a large amount of money, but my wife and I take it seriously. It’s a good way to help the next generation understand how important charitable giving is and how important it is to put thought behind it…”
What a wonderful idea! How fortunate my student is to have this gift to use in a way that is meaningful to his generation and perhaps even his children’s generation. His family may not have consciously engaged in the following “top 10” practices, but they sure as heck reaped the kind of results that these practices envision.
So, in the spirit of philanthropic advisor Charles W. Collier and his book Wealth in Families (Second Edition), here are the “top 10” best practices of successful families, those like my student’s, who take pains to pass on more than just the family name and jewels:

1. Successful families focus on the human, intellectual, and social capital of the family. What does each family member have to offer both for him/herself and for the family (human/intellectual capital)? What type of investment does the family make to cultivate this capital? Where does the family see itself fitting into the greater society (social capital)?
2. They stress the priority of each family member’s individual pursuit of happiness – NOT Mom & Dad’s definition of what that should be for the kids and grandkids but those of each individual family member.
3. They work on enhancing intrafamily communication.
4. Their time frame for determining success is long-term.
5. They tell and retell the family’s most important stories. Every family has a history and this history is what makes the family. Telling and retelling the stories creates a sense of pride and a reason to continue to pull together as a family.
6. They create mentor-like relationships with establishing family trusts. While we tend to think of trusts as purely financial instruments, in fact, the trustee/beneficiary relationship formed as a result of the formation of a trust can be used as a tool to guide the beneficiary using someone other than the parent as that guide.
7. They have collaboratively defined a family vision statement (the Shared Dream). This is particularly important when engaging in family philanthropy.
8. They teach children and grandchildren the competencies and responsibilities that come with financial wealth.
9. They work at getting to really know each family member.
10. They give their younger family members as much responsibility as they can manage as soon as possible.

It’s never too late…